I have been in a state of self-doubt for quite some time. That feeling of wanting to do new things but lacks the confidence to push through because of my pre-determined belief that I’m not good enough. That my efforts wouldn’t amount to much so why even bother?
It was a depressing, discouraging state which if not address in time could lead to permanent conviction. It doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re not good on your current task, but it’s more on the lack of drive to dream bigger, expect more and push yourself past your own limitations. It’s a state where you just remain envious of others who’s fulfilling that same thing you wish to do because you don’t have the courage to silence that voice in your head telling you ‘you can’t do it’ or ‘you just don’t have a choice’.
It was until I met friends from our Ministry who slowly helped me change my belief. They encouraged, supported, cheered and prayed for me. They gave me that affirmation I’ve always needed, that seal of approval that I’m doing well. But even more than that, they gave me a new perspective which I can hold on to every time I hear that dream destroyer voice. They reminded that my talents and skills were given to me by the Lord for a purpose. That by not using it, I’m actually depriving my community of that unique skill that could have been used for something greater. And that it’s okay for it not to be perfect. Because it’s only through trying, sharing and being open minded will I know how else I can improve on my craft that would eventually lead to mastery.
So now, whenever I feel that fear crippling in, I start right away before it settles down. I quiet that voice by getting inspiration. I read, ask people and just start creating. May it be starting a blog, writing, the mini projects that I want to do, baking, wall climbing, anything. The net is flooded with both stories to inspire and knowledge that’ll help you feel confident to get you started.
Because in the end, what only matters is you trying. Without it, how else would you even know what could have been? You just have to take that first step of faith and believe. After that is purely hard work. Can be frustrating and tiring at times but if you persevere, it can only get better. Nothing is wasted because even the most embarrassing experience can be taken as learning. Then one day, you will be amazed to see how far you have come from the novice that you once were. And when you reach that state, you know that it’s time for a new challenge, new goal and a new adventure!
Veronica, also known as Gene is a passionate mother, wife, career woman, event planner, artist, adventurer, fashionista, and many more.