Happily Overwhelmed

Have you ever had that feeling of wanting to do something, anything, but lacking the energy to do it? It's not even tiredness, I think the word is overwhelmed. Ever since my second baby arrived, It has been very difficult to find rest. My 6 years old boy dying for my attention and my 2 years old baby who wouldn't let go of me. I'm really having a hard time fitting my to-do list in my limited schedule. There's just so many things I want to do.
 
I easily get exhausted nowadays too, probably due to the lack of exercise and just the number of things going on in my head. I believe exhaustion is not only physical but also mental. The unending list of what you want/need to do. I feel most moms are like this, both career woman and full time housewives. It’s how our brains are wired. Either we are preparing in advance or we are busy worrying the unforeseen. 
 
I am following facebook/instagram celebrity Kristina Kuzmic. Her post and videos gives me reassurance that I am not alone in this crazy motherhood journey. She's funny, honest and encouraging. Her page also provides a platform for parents to interact, share their own stories and give encouragement to one another. I'm bless because I have my own set of friends whom I share my frustrations, fears and happiness too. I personally believe that in order to survive, you need God and everyone should have a mentor, inspiration and support group. 
 
I would love to have extra time in my hands. Often I ask my husband if he remembers when there's just the two of us. How we use to spend time together lying down in bed relaxing or sometimes traveling or just doing silly stuff. Then I feel a pang of guilt because it almost sound like I wish it’s just the two of us. And I know that even though I have this brief moments of feeling overwhelmed, I know in my heart that I would not trade the happiness of having been bless with the most adorable children you can ask for. 
 
As they say, the struggle is real. No point lying about it. We are human and we get tired, angry, and ridiculously happy at the same time. We love our children so much that we get paranoid. It's a challenge to find the right balance. To find joy in the moment while preparing for the future. To keep your sanity while going through the roller coaster of emotions brought by motherhood. The longing for freedom, to be free of responsibility but at the same time frightened the kids are growing up too fast. And I acknowledge the moments, the emotions that goes with it. Then I enjoy every bit of it. Hard at it may seem, motherhood is a gift and it’s the best I’ve gotten so far.